dennis hates angela.

Archive for July 2013

istanbul day 3 part 2. but really still part 1.

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went to the suada club which we had to take a boat to get to. we saw a bunch of toasted and roasted turkish people who really looked more like rotisserie chickens. i also got badly burned and i don’t know who i am anymore. 

also to note. the racism here is particularly interesting. it’s not so much that they hassle us or call us names. but we mostly go unnoticed or ignored. 

woke up to ymca at 2 am from a raging club nearby. which continued onto 4 am with other hits from spice girls psy , etc. i eventually went back to sleep and had a dream about brad pitt opening a production company and bar by my office. i babysat his kids once and i asked him if i can ask him in front of my co-workers to have a drink with me and then do it. 

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Written by angerrrah

July 30, 2013 at 6:05 am

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istanbul day 3 part 1

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our ambitious plans to be tourists seems to be foiled by our inherent laziness. woke up early to visit the topkapi palace but instead ended up watching videos of the 1998 olympic ice skating championships, which we feel like was unfair because had tara lapinski competed against a 16 year old michelle kwan, she would have had definitely placed second.

today, we’re going to do things that we normally wouldn’t do such as. tanning.

Written by angerrrah

July 29, 2013 at 6:02 am

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istanbul day 2

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had plans to do “historical stuff” today as we only have three days left and everything is closed on mondays. however, we arrived back from the wedding at 6 am. woke up at 3 pm and we were only able to visit the blue mosque. there we saw a stupid girl who reminded me of why other countries hate americans so much. 

we were deeply offended by business locals asking if we were chinese but we were okay with the ones who asked if we were japanese.

walked to the grand bazaar even though it was closed but it was nice to walk around the area while it was quiet, plus it’ll be interesting to see what it’s like on a regular business day when we go on tuesday. we also walked by the water, had fresh fish, walked along small street paths which was really cool. 

also, my nail polish is still intact and i still haven’t pooped yet.

not-shane: so what do you do?
dennis: oh, i used to work for french connection…
not-shane: as a model?
me: (spits out champagne)

Written by angerrrah

July 28, 2013 at 8:57 pm

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istanbul day 1

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following a 10 hour flight, we managed to get through customs fairly quickly and took a bus into taksim where our hotel is near. wandered istiklal which reminded us of las ramblas except the ice cream vendors were dressed like monkeys and banging on things and i didn’t scammed into some street trick.

ate things (mussels with rice and deep fried mussels) . made my first istanbul purchase of two little keychains of a man sticking his dick in a girl’s butt — pretty sure i could find this in santee alley too. got back, got ready, still no poop.

went to the wedding. which was, and i’m using a word i rarely use, “very lovely”. it was along the bosphorous with, again, another word i rarely use, “beautiful” flowers and lights and scenery. the entire wedding was made up primarily of terrible covers (such as lounge-y “ymca”) and small dishes. then an epic-sounding turkish song started to play and everyone immediately knew that it was time for the ceremony which lasted literally five minutes. also considered, “the best wedding ceremony ever”. also included the releasing of purple and white balloons — “very lovely”.

the rest of the wedding was lively and fun. everyone including the parents were dancing which made me embarrassed of all the previous korean weddings i grew up with. as i am more accustomed to a 1 hour ceremony with crappy flowers and a missing ring bearer b/c he’s crying in another room, half dried catered food, and pretty much 60% of the guests leaving right after dinner. and of course all this followed by folding up the chairs and picking up streamers.

in other non-korean tradition, we took a mini-yacht from the wedding venue, down the bosphorous to a nightclub on the other side (of the continent). where we made a prostitute cry by making fun of her for being a prostitute which wasn’t our fault because she definitely was a prostitute.

photos to come.

Written by angerrrah

July 28, 2013 at 1:49 pm

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Directions to Steven’s Bedroom

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Get off the plane
Collect your bag, *remember that you did check a bag
Follow signs for the AirTrain
Take the AirTrain towards Howard Beach Station
Take the A train towards ********
Get off at ********
Take the * train towards ********
Get off at ********
Head south (downhill) on ******** for 2 blocks
Make a Left on to ********
******** will be on your righthand side
Come up the stairs quietly
Change into bridesmaid dress immediately
Practice poses in the mirror
Head down the hall and enter the bedroom on the left
Begin transaction…

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July 25, 2013 at 9:33 pm

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Dennis:  Oh I have a meeting with the Italian display company on the morning of your Caribbean themed wedding.

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July 25, 2013 at 7:04 pm

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dennis says the only reason why i haven’t been fired yet is because my company gets a tax break for hiring retards.

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July 24, 2013 at 6:25 pm

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