dennis: what is so hard to believe that you would be part of a black barbershop quartet of pnahandlers..

on giuliana rancic

dennis: she’s so fucking nasty..
me: yeah, super
dennis: stop tanning.. gain some fucking weight.. like if you look that thin on camera..
me: i bet she’s even more terrifying in person. she’s probably.. the worst person i know and i don’t even know know her
dennis: i think it’s disgusting they let her on TV.. but she’s so perfect for something liek E!..
me: i was just thinking of all the scumbags who like her
dennis: apparently it’s her cancer suppression medication… but she was thin before the cancer too.. man she’s only 40..i thought she was WAY older..
me: oh, is the cancer part supposed to make me feel bad?
dennis: ahha yea. didn’t work on me either..

12.23.15

me: okay gotta get ready for dinner with simon’s mom and my parnts
dennis: Which sizzler are you going to?

may 4, 2013

On Yoga:

Dennis: so the best part is they ask you to dedicate your practice to someone.
Or something.

 So I either dedicate it to myself because I paid for this.

 Or I dedicate it to something ridiculous.

 Last time, when I was with Golzar we were getting glared at my some guys because we were joking about what to dedicate our practice to.

 We both ended up dedicating it to my crab boil dinner I was going to have that night.

 Today I dedicated it to your seductive Instagram posts.

Angela: jahahahahahahahah

Dennis: I think what you mean is thank you.

seoul – day 2

today, we explored the gangnam district, which we found to be………… like…… whatever. despite the fact that we started off our day with soju and strawberry/banana milk.

our soju/milk breakfast

the best part of hotel life is the room service!

of all this, the most luxurious is that dennis uses his phone as a coaster for his morning breakfast milk/soju

we went to the gangnam district which, as mentioned, was like…… whatever. unimpressive. douchey. and really reminded me of all the shitface ahjumas i met at church who thought they were better than you because they were married to a dentist.

here is a $300 basket of assorted fruit, like i said, whatever.

i mean, hot cheetos for $6. BULLSHIT.

we headed back to myuongdong. we were in gangnam for about two hours and we were already over it. anyone who tells you that of ALL the places in seoul/korea, that you should go to gangnam, is a person who is full of shit and is probably a blogger.

snow ice in myoungdong.

chicken and beer!

7-11 after hour snacks

after hour activities

karen: ooh, they have men’s nail polish!
dennis: they just call them a nail polish here.

seoul — day 1

day: we started the day sluggish knowing if we went out earlier, we’d come back earlier, so most of the morning was spent watching k-pop. then viet came over and then left.

view from our hotel room!

our breakfast, conveniently picked up from the 7-11 on the lobby floor: honey potato chips (weird — they tasted like sour cream and chive chips but cooked in churro oil), cuttlefish chips, soju, melon yakult, and boxed coffee.

the goal for the day: bukchon hanok village then hongdae to meet up with an old friend and to also scope out the clubs for a possible going aaaaaaaaout night that will never happen.

there was a park built around this 10 story pagoda completed in 1476.

this was there too. it’s also old.

our intentions were to go to bukchon hanok village “for some culture” but we made a slight detour and found culture elsewhere.

so demure!

not sure at what point all this is considered “disrespectful” and will get my kicked out… of the country.

for mak nai.

this is the closest we could get dennis to participate in our cultural adventure.

for the actual cultural part. we saw old hanoks that date back 600 years. it’s mainly residential but it’s become a tourist attraction since being featured on some tv show and now there are lots of loud cackling asians there.

neat brick layout.

underside rooftop of one of the hanoks.

nice pose

leaves against more bricks.

a sidewalk box of flowers

adorable child with a banana backpack.

sweet cherub with a mismo backpack and a heart full of love.

now for the food!

we didn’t partake, but thought it was a novel idea that should be allowed back home.

snack: steamed dumplings, fried dumplings, shrimp fried dumpings, and bibim naegmyun.

shrimp mandus, pre-fried.

“ddong bbang” which directly translates to “poop bread” it’s bread filled with bean paste and looks like a poop emoji.

softree: honeycrisp (delicious soft serve topped with honeycomb) and mama bread (buttered toast with ice cream in the middle with the consistency of butter so it feels like you’re biting down into a block of butter).

potato hot dog which can be best described as a hot dog surrounded by mashed potatoes then deep fried in corn dog batter and crinkle cut fries.

how many times has this happened for the facility to put up this sign.

we then went to hongdae which is like college town for fartsy kids. pretty lively even on a wednesday night. reminded me of soho.

boodaejigae: war-time food where you just throw in everything you got. we made the mistake of eating this as our dinner meal. it’s more of an after-hour drinking food.

sobok: misugaru (grain powder) soft serve and iceballs (mochi-center surrounded by misugaru soft serve rolled around in misugaru topped with honey and sunflower and pumpkin seeds). highly recommended. my mom used to make me drink the powder shake for breakfast so it was pretty neat to see it in dessert form.

DIY GOALS

met up with my 6th grade bible study teacher who i haven’t seen in 20 years! he looks the same and still cool as ever. his wife was very lovely and fun. i’ve been fortunate in my life to have never met a bad joe. this is the first joe and every subsequent joe was been pretty rad.

Hotel room after hour snacks: Bapuri kimbaps (one tonkatsu and one tuna), soju, hite, pre-cooked eggs and instant ramen.

seoul, night 1, day 0

night one: landed in incheon and found ourselves in a sea of terrible fluffy bowl cuts, which seems to be a popular choice amongst the men here. checked into our hotel, went out to myungdong for korean bbq and “leisurely” shopping. the shopping here is insane. INSANE. browsed the hundreds of makeup spots, including etude house, which we found out is actually pronounced, “a dude’s house”.

we got pretty drunk. the soju is only a dollar at 7-11!!! i threw it all up and ended up sleeping on the floor. i should mention our hotel bedding is quite nice, which i only found out the second night since i actually got to sleep on it.

i saw a young larry on the plane

day zero: glad that we got smashed on the first night because we all woke up at 7 am for beer shits and adjusted very quickly to the time difference. walked along a fake river thing to gwangjung, where we got some freshly made dumpling soup and the lady pointed out that i was only eating the innards. i also saw a vest made entirely of sequins depicting a lady playing golf.

eating dumpling soup.

so fresh!

we then walked to dongdaemoon, where apparently it’s seoul fashion week. it was really fun to people-watch and the fashion was pretty fun and “very korean”. so many good jackets! also, more shopping. i got in my street ddukbboki and dennis and karen had remicone. went back to myungdong for more shopping and we ate curry rice with tonkatsu. headed back home with the intention of going aaaaaaout at karen’s request, but she ended up passing out first and waking up last.

north korea’s top model.

one of the very few remaining mister donuts that hasn’t been swallowed up by dunkin’ donuts.

karen with her manoffin.

meanwhile, dennis and i started watching k-pop videos and learning a lot of sexy moves. oh yeah, karen and i are definitely taking makeup inspiration from the k-pop dudes. we also cannot tell a lot of these people apart. also, it’s been ten years since i’ve been here, but everyone looks… not korean? i’m not sure if it’s gentrification or plastic surgery.

me: i feel like my chin has gotten bigger since we got here.
dennis: maybe it’s happy to be home.

last observation, the ahjumas here are really stylish and hip. will take more photos here on out.